


promises

by popnographic



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-15 00:55:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9212405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/popnographic/pseuds/popnographic
Summary: Makoto doesn't always keep his promises. He wants to, but luck isn't always on his side.Written for MakoRin Week 2017, day 4: promises.





	

Makoto doesn’t do well with them. He wants to, he says he’ll try to, but he can’t always keep the promises he makes. It isn’t that he’s afraid of commitments, it’s mostly just his bad luck getting in the way. Towering over him like a wall he can’t get past, or holding him back like shackles.

So when Rin asks him to promise, he can’t say “I promise.”

He wants to, but he can’t.

The worst thing is seeing that empty look on Rin’s face before he replaces it with a grin, a shrug, and a “it’s fine”, because Makoto knows it’s everything _but_ fine.

Rin always makes his own promises. Eight times out of ten, he keeps them. Years ago when he still went to Australia regularly, he always said “I’ll talk to you soon, I promise” before they went their separate ways at the airport. The very same evening, he contacted Makoto to let Makoto know he arrived safely, and then they would keep in touch pretty much once a day until Rin came back home.

Makoto’s grown afraid of making promises. He doesn’t want to be a let-down, he doesn’t want to disappoint, doesn’t want people to have too high expectations of him when they really don’t have a reason to. Rin is the last person he wants to disappoint, yet he’s done it so many times over the years they’ve been together.

He’s missed Rin’s birthday dinner once because he got held up at work until late, even though he’d promised he wouldn’t be. He’s had to cancel on hanging out with his boyfriend and friends on a Saturday because he got called into work. God _knows_ what other promises he’s had to break; he can’t even keep track of them anymore with how long the list has gotten.

So Rin doesn’t make him promise things anymore. He’s probably given up, and while it hurts, Makoto thinks it might just be for the best. Makoto isn’t often one to live up to people’s expectations, but it’s something he really wants to change. He wants people to be able to expect a little more out of him, and he wants to live up to those expectations. Be able to say “I told you so”, or know that he was able to keep the promise he made.

“I took Thursday afternoon off work,” he says, and Gou puts her mug down on the table. Of course, she looks surprised.

“You did? How’d you do that?”

It’s very cold out today, but that’s to be expected in late January. Makoto can’t wait for spring to come, for the snow to melt, and for flowers to start blooming again. When there’s more light and colours outside, his life somehow feels more bright and colourful in general.

He shrugs. “I asked, and they said it was fine. It’s just a couple of hours, anyway, and I think that might be why it was so easy to get it approved.”

Gou makes an impressed _huh_ -sound as she raises her eyebrows, bringing her mug to her lips once more. She makes the best coffee out of all of them; she’s so good she managed to make Makoto drink coffee to begin with. It had been a little awkward being the only one in the break room who _didn’t_ drink coffee at work, but now he can at least say he does that tiny, in actuality really insignificant, thing.

“So you’re for sure gonna make it?”

“Yes.”

“Well, then I’m glad! And I’m sure he will be, too.”

Makoto snorts lightly. “Surprised, too, I bet.”

Gou lightly smacks him on the arm across the table. “Surprises make life more interesting.”

He’s had a bad habit of always thinking of surprises as being exclusively negative. “Surprise, I’m dumping you!” or “Surprise, we’re homeless” is what usually comes to mind when he thinks of the word, but maybe Gou is right. Maybe it _can_ be positive, too. Him actually showing up to Rin’s birthday party this year can’t be a negative surprise, can it? Why else would Rin still be with him?

Maybe it isn’t a promise per se, but this might still be a step in the right direction of being able to _keep_ a promise for once.

 

* * *

 

On the day Rin turns twenty-six, Makoto wakes up early even though he isn’t going to work. Rin’s snoring ever so lightly, and it brings a smile to Makoto’s face as he takes a little time in just sitting there, stroking a strand of hair away from Rin’s face while he watches his boyfriend sleep. There’s a tiny sliver of light shining in through the blinds that hit right by Rin’s nose onto the bed, and Makoto knows that as soon as he scoots closer to Makoto’s side, it’ll hit his face, and he’ll wake up with one of those famous groans of his.

They’ve been together for so long, but it still hits him every now and then that he managed to get what he wanted. A peaceful life with Rin by his side. And it doesn’t matter that the road they travelled to get here was a bumpy one, because they still made it, and that’s all that matters, at least to Makoto.

Makoto quietly slips out of the bedroom to take a quick shower before cooking. Over the years, he’s learnt to cook the most basic things, but even some more complicated dishes thanks to Haruka. So as much as it had been impossible a few years ago, a normal breakfast is no big deal to him anymore. Thinking of it that way makes him feel a little proud of himself.

A regular Japanese breakfast isn’t all that fancy when you’ve had it so often, but Rin still manages to make a deal out of it. Maybe most of it is because Makoto made it, and because he gets to eat breakfast in bed. (Makoto has to admit that it _is_ a good reason to get excited.)

“You’re seriously the best,” Rin says while stuffing his face with egg and rice. Makoto smiles awkwardly, scratching his ear.

“It’s nothing, really. The least I could do for you on your birthday.”

“It’s just a birthday, Makoto. I mean, sure—it was a big deal before we turned twenty, but nowadays it’s… well, not like any other _day_. Maybe more like a Friday evening, or a Saturday.”

Makoto can’t help but laugh. “You’re cute. Happy birthday, Rin.”

“I’m not cute,” Rin protests, and puts his glass down with extra force to show how angry he’s pretending to be. “But thanks. Love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Rin leans over the tray, and places a hand on the back of Makoto’s head to pull him close. Makoto smiles against Rin’s lips, wants to stay in that moment just a little longer, but reality doesn’t let them. Instead, Rin pulls away, and then offers to help put away their breakfast tray before he has to get ready for work.

Not long after Rin’s left and Makoto’s cleaned up and gotten himself dressed, he heads out the door as well.

 

* * *

 

It feels weird to leave the building early, working in a field where he’s practically on duty twenty-four hours a day just in case they need him when no one else is available, or they simply need more people to come in. He hopes that won’t be the case today of all days. It isn’t that Rin’s explicitly told him that he’s run out of chances to prove himself, but Makoto feels like he might be, at least to himself. Yes, he needs to prove himself to Rin that he can be reliable, but he wants _himself_ to believe that he is, too.

Everyone gathers at Makoto’s and Rin’s place. It’s a little crowded, but they somehow make it work, anyway. Rin has yet to come home, but once he does, they’ll drag him out to the restaurant where they’ve booked a large table to fit all seven of them. Makoto wonders to himself, sitting among his friends, when their group got so big. Of course, it isn’t something he would complain about—rather the complete opposite.

“I hate that he’s so stuck up about presents,” Kisumi pouts from where he sits between Sousuke and Haruka. “I would’ve loved to give him something.”

Haruka snorts, exchanging a look with Sousuke before they both look at their boyfriend. “Oh, we know you would have.”

“Hey, I know what you’re thinking about, and for your information, that wasn’t what I would’ve given him this year. Maybe last year, but he already knows about that, so it’d be boring.”

It doesn’t really feel like a birthday dinner, but it’s the way Rin prefers celebrating becoming a year older, since he ‘has’ to. Gou and Aki would never let any of them go a birthday without having been properly celebrated, it doesn’t just apply to Gou’s older brother. Which is nice in and of itself; Makoto at least appreciates it, and he knows Kisumi does so a lot more than himself.

The gang finish their evening with a beer at one of the local pubs. It’s long since gotten dark out, it’s cold, but it’s still a nice, clear evening. The best thing about these gatherings is getting to just talk to everyone, Makoto thinks. And he can tell that the others are of the same opinion. He’s got a really great group of friends accumulated since early childhood; friends he’ll probably have for the rest of his life.

And then there’s Rin. Saying that Rin is the love of his life isn’t something he normally does since it feels like he might jinx it, but secretly, that’s what Makoto thinks. It took them quite a while to admit their mutual feelings, and while they’ve had issues and fights in the past, they’re still together to this day, and Makoto has never been more in love than he is today.

“Hey, Makoto, what’re you looking at?”

He realises too late that he’s probably blatantly staring at Rin right now, so he smiles, and looks at his now half empty (or half full?) glass of beer.

“It’s nothing. I just like to look at you.”

Rin softly bumps his shoulder against Makoto’s. “Such a sap.”

“Learnt from the best. Happy birthday, Rin.”

Rin kisses him on the cheek, a gesture that earns them groans from both Haruka and Sousuke across the table.

“Get a room,” Kisumi hollers.

“Oh, does that mean we can leave?” Rin replies, grinning. “Great. Then I guess we’ll—“

“It was a _joke_! Don’t leave yet, killjoy.”

 

* * *

 

… Well, it was _supposed_ to be one beer, but Rin drinks two (Sousuke somehow manages to drink _three_ in the time it takes Makoto to finish his first, and last) before it’s time to call it a night. The men follow Gou and Aki to the train station, and shortly after, five become two when Sousuke, Haruka and Kisumi head back to their place.

“It got really quiet all of a sudden,” Rin comments, and Makoto laughs.

“Yeah. It was nice, though. I hope you had a nice birthday.”

Rin hums, taking Makoto’s hand and intertwining their fingers. “I did. I’m glad you could make it.”

Makoto knows Rin doesn’t mean it to be a hurtful comment, but it still stings a little. As much as he tells himself “this time”, it doesn’t always happen. While he doesn’t make promises to Rin anymore, he really wants to. It would be naïve of him to think that this one instance changes things, but maybe it can be the _start_ of change.

They walk inside the house, and Makoto locks the door behind them as Rin turns on the lights and kicks off his shoes in the genkan.

“How _did_ you make it, by the way? They always make you work so late.”

“I actually took the afternoon off.”

“What? You… oh. _Oh_. Yeah, I can see that.”

Rin walks inside the house proper, and Makoto smiles a little when he sees Rin’s reaction. When Makoto decides to clean the house, he does so almost meticulously. It’s something he’s gotten from his mother, and maybe also from Haruka. And since he had a couple of hours to spare, why not use them wisely? Makoto knows he’d go insane if he were to just sit around and do nothing, and even if their house wasn’t in urgent need of cleaning, it still feels nice to have it done.

“But why?”

Makoto dares embracing Rin from behind, and Rin almost immediately relaxes in his embrace. “Because I wanted to keep a promise to you for once.”

“You… didn’t promise anything.”

“Not to you,” Makoto clarifies. “But to myself. I promised myself to become stronger, and to stand up for myself.”

Rin exhales slowly, placing a hand on Makoto’s forearm. “So you met some resistance when asking for time off.”

“Surprisingly, I didn’t. But that’s what I’ve always thought before, so I never asked. I just did what I was told to do. So I ended up missing out on time I could’ve spent with you. I know you gave up on asking me to promise things because I could never fulfil them, so I… started out with promising myself things. Then maybe one day I can actually keep a promise I’ve made to you.”

Rin lifts Makoto’s arms around him so he can turn around, and as quickly as Makoto had brought them back to himself, Rin takes his arms back to place around his middle in the embrace he’d just left. Like it’s where he belongs.

“Makoto, I didn’t give up on making you promise things. I respect the fact that you didn’t want to make them. And it’s okay.”

“It’s _not_ okay,” Makoto retorts with a frown. “I should be able to keep promises, even if they’re simple ones.”

“Well, you probably don’t realise it, but you’ve kept promises, too, you know.”

“I have?”

“Yeah,” Rin says, and now he’s smiling. “Remember when you always told me you’d wait for me to come back? That you _promised_ you’d wait? You always did. I mean, you’re here now, so that means you must’ve kept those promises.”

“I… I guess so.”

“And honestly… you missing one of my birthday dinners wasn’t a big deal. You promising to wait for me and actually still being there for me when I came back home, _that_ is a big deal.”

Makoto laughs a little. “How’s so?”

“Well, you could’ve easily just given up, met someone else, moved on. For some reason you didn’t.”

He _has_ thought about it before; not in the way of actually _wanting_ to move on, but as a ‘what if’. What would’ve happened if he _had_ just given up on waiting for Rin to come back home? Where would Makoto be now, what would he be doing, who would he be with? Would he even be with anyone other than Rin? To him right now, in the moment he shares with Rin, the answer is a loud, resounding no. But he can’t be sure, seeing as he never chose that option.

“The reason is that I love you,” Makoto says simply, but making sure Rin hears that he means it. “I love you enough to wait, because I knew you’d come back to me if you loved me, too.”

“And if I didn’t?”

“Then I’d know.”

Rin frowns a little. “So you’d waste all that time on me even if it’d turn out I didn’t love you anymore?”

“I would.”

“… Promise?”

Makoto puts his forehead against Rin’s, and they both smile. “Yeah. That’s something I can _definitely_ promise you.”

**Author's Note:**

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